求教高手改一下我写的这篇六级作文,1.低碳生活方式成为人们关注的焦点2.分析这种生活方式的好处3.My View on Low-carbon LifestyleRecently,the importance of Low-carbon Lifestyle has aroused pervasive attention among

求教高手改一下我写的这篇六级作文,1.低碳生活方式成为人们关注的焦点2.分析这种生活方式的好处3.My View on Low-carbon LifestyleRecently,the importance of Low-carbon Lifestyle has aroused pervasive attention among
求教高手改一下我写的这篇六级作文,
1.低碳生活方式成为人们关注的焦点
2.分析这种生活方式的好处
3.
My View on Low-carbon Lifestyle
Recently,the importance of Low-carbon Lifestyle has aroused pervasive attention among the public.In the mordern world,people from all walks of life have realized the benefits from Low-carbon Lifestyle.
Many factors can account for this situation.First of all,such lifestyle is accessible and effcient.Moreover,the popularity of Low-carbon lifestyle even can protect most of forests and woods from being cut down.What's more,such lifestyle is beneficial for us.It can bring with us more health and we also can breath fresh air in our daily life.
As far as i am concerned,it is crucial for us to take a series of accessible measures to deal with poor environment.For one thing,everyone has to pay more attention to our behavior.For another,government should carry out more useful laws to decrease high-carbon industries.Only in this way can we live a health life in the near future.

求教高手改一下我写的这篇六级作文,1.低碳生活方式成为人们关注的焦点2.分析这种生活方式的好处3.My View on Low-carbon LifestyleRecently,the importance of Low-carbon Lifestyle has aroused pervasive attention among
My View on Low-carbon Lifestyle
Recent years(rencently 都被用烂了),the significances（importance 级别不都高） of Low-carbon Lifestyle has aroused pervasive attention among the public.In the mordern world,individuals（people不够专业） from all walks of life have realized we can benefit from Low-carbon Lifestyle（这样表达更灵活）.
This phenomenon can be illustrated by a host of factors(整句都改了).Firstly,such lifestyle is accessible and effcient.What's more,the popularity of Low-carbon lifestyle even can protect most of the woods from disafforestation.Additionally(What's more就等于moreover),such lifestyle is beneficial for us,as we can strike a good banlance between health and a happy life（注意,翻译是 幸福的生活 不是 快乐的生活）in this way.
As far as i am concerned,it is crucial for us to take a series of accessible measures to deal with the severe invironmental problems（原句有点changlish）.For one perspective(比thing档次高 ),everyone need(has太强硬) to pay more attention to our daily behavior .For another,government should carry out more useful laws to decrease high-carbon industries.Only in this way can we live a health life in the near future.
整理一下：
My View on Low-carbon Lifestyle
Recent years,the significances of Low-carbon Lifestyle has aroused pervasive attention among the public.In the mordern world,individuals from all walks of life have realized we can benefit from Low-carbon Lifestyle.
This phenomenon can be illustrated by a host of factors.Firstly,such lifestyle is accessible and effcient.What's more,the popularity of Low-carbon lifestyle even can protect most of the woods from disafforestation.Additionally.such lifestyle is beneficial for us,as we can strike a good banlance between health and a happy life in this way.
As far as i am concerned,it is crucial for us to take a series of accessible measures to deal with the severe invironmental problems.For one perspective,everyone need to pay more attention to our daily behavior .For another,government should carry out more useful laws to decrease high-carbon industries.Only in this way can we live a health life in the near future.

in the public
realized the benefits from Low-carbon Lifestyle,realize 一般是指实现什么目标之类的，用此不合适，get 就行。
be beneficial to us
结构挺清晰的

My View on Low-carbon Lifestyle
Recently, the importance of Low-carbon Lifestyle has aroused pervasive attention among the public.In the mordern world,people from all walks of life have rea...

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My View on Low-carbon Lifestyle
Recently, the importance of Low-carbon Lifestyle has aroused pervasive attention among the public.In the mordern world,people from all walks of life have realized the benefits from Low-carbon Lifestyle.
Many factors can account for this situation.First of all,such lifestyle is accessible and effcient.Moreover,the popularity of Low-carbon lifestyle even can protect most of forests and woods from being cut down.What's more,such lifestyle is beneficial for us.It can bring with us more health and we also can breath fresh air in our daily life.
As far as i am concerned,it is crucial for us to take a series of accessible measures to deal with poor environment.For one thing,everyone has to pay more attention to our behavior.For another,government should carry out more useful laws to decrease high-carbon industries.Only in this way can we live a health life in the near future.

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