英语自我介绍 帮我看看我有没有语法错误哦Hello,everyone!My name is Gong Hongxian.My English name is Avril.I’m a student from Jiangbei foreign language school.I’m in Class three Grade seven.I am 13 years old now.I'm an active ,lov

英语自我介绍 帮我看看我有没有语法错误哦Hello,everyone!My name is Gong Hongxian.My English name is Avril.I’m a student from Jiangbei foreign language school.I’m in Class three Grade seven.I am 13 years old now.I'm an active ,lov
英语自我介绍 帮我看看我有没有语法错误哦
Hello,everyone!My name is Gong Hongxian.My English name is Avril.I’m a student from Jiangbei foreign language school.I’m in Class three Grade seven.I am 13 years old now.I'm an active ,lovely and clever girl.I’m good at singing,playing sports and photography.I also like soccer,and my favorite team is Argentina,because they have Lionel Messi.He is really handsome and very good at playing soccer.I enjoy most of my time listening to music and playing soccer or basketball.And I also like reading,it’s useful and relaxing for me.Do you like me?

英语自我介绍 帮我看看我有没有语法错误哦Hello,everyone!My name is Gong Hongxian.My English name is Avril.I’m a student from Jiangbei foreign language school.I’m in Class three Grade seven.I am 13 years old now.I'm an active ,lov
1,把foreign language school改为首字母大写
2,and taking photography
3,he is really handsome and he is good at palying soccer,帅气和足球棒不是同种词性,注意一下.
4,it 's useful for me .it can make me feel relaxed.
我发现你很喜欢用and 连接,其实你要注意词性,还有不是同一个性质的事情要分开说

不错。。。。。。几乎没有。。。。

亲爱的楼主你好
because they have Lionel Messi.用的有点不正当可以改成
because my idol Lionel Messi is devoted to this team,I admire him so much
点评;目测楼主是7-8年级学生，如果自己写的话应该是很不错的，错误点很少，流利性不错，如果满分15分应该是有13-14分的，写...

全部展开

亲爱的楼主你好
because they have Lionel Messi.用的有点不正当可以改成
because my idol Lionel Messi is devoted to this team,I admire him so much
点评;目测楼主是7-8年级学生，如果自己写的话应该是很不错的，错误点很少，流利性不错，如果满分15分应该是有13-14分的，写关于自我介绍的文章多加一些连接词，多积累词汇为自己的文章润色，只有词汇多了才能独树一帜
希望采纳谢谢！

收起

你的文章类？没看见啊
这样可以么？

您好，很高兴为您解答！
Hello,everyone!My name is Gong Hongxian.My English name is Avril.I’m a student from Jiangbei foreign language school.I’m in Class three Grade seven.I am 13 years old now. I'm an active...

全部展开

您好，很高兴为您解答！
Hello,everyone!My name is Gong Hongxian.My English name is Avril.I’m a student from Jiangbei foreign language school.I’m in Class three Grade seven.I am 13 years old now. I'm an active ,lovely and clever girl.I’m good at singing,playing sports and photography.I also like soccer,and my favorite team is Argentina,because they have Lionel Messi.He is really handsome and very good at playing soccer.【 I enjoy most of my time listening】 to music and playing soccer or basketball. And I also like reading,it’s useful and relaxing for me.Do you like me?
不错的小朋友，通篇都可以，只是有一个小地方 【 I enjoy most of my time listening】，enjoy 后面直接接listening, most of my time可在前加In/During提到句首或者句尾，也可以将enjoy改为spend （spend + 时间/金钱 + doing）
~~~~~~~~~~~详细耐心解答，满意欢迎采纳~~~~~~~~

收起

如果是口语自我介绍。没有神马问题。如果是作文的话。专用名词注意大小写。还有连接词and是连接并列短语或词句或句子的。还有不要贸然用逗号再用and。这是错误的用法。

1、I’m good at singing,playing sports and photography似有些不妥。建议改为I’m good at singing,playing sports and loving photography.
2、Do you like me?建议改为Do you want to make friends with me?